Day 1

Cycle day: 1
Meds: Birth control pills
Mood: Scared, overwhelmed, sad

Here we go! The IVF process is FINALLY going to start. My past week has been an emotional rollercoaster ride...

Tuesday, January 25th—Doctor said to take a pregnancy test if my period doesn't come before CD 32. Negative pregnancy test so started taking Progesterone pill to induce my period since I don't have regular periods (I could go 90 days between periods if I am not on drugs)

Wednesday, January 26th—Nothing. Still waiting.

Thursday, January 27th—Started spotting. Yay! My period is going to start and we can start this whole process!

Friday, January 28th—Still spotting

Saturday, January 29th—Stopped spotting. No period yet! Freaking out! What if I am pregnant and I am taking these drugs?? What will it do to my baby? I had a glass of wine tonight and a beer Friday night! Andrew asks if I want him to go get a pregnancy test (it is 11pm at this point). I don’t want to take another stupid pregnancy test just to tell me NO again!!!

Sunday January 30th— Wake up and I feel like crap. Maybe I feel sick because I am pregnant. Get my hopes up. Andrew buys a pregnancy test. POAS….wait three minutes….BIG FAT NEGATIVE! Really period?!? You are a week late!! I have never wanted to have my period more in my whole life! I just want to start this IVF process!!! PLEASE!!!

Monday, January 31st—Start spotting again

Tuesday, February 1st—Finally!!!! Call the fertility clinic and tell the nurse my period started. Get a calendar that outlines the next 7 weeks of my life. Start birth control (I know...weird huh?) but they have to trick my ovaries and shut down my system.

Now I sit here....
-Scared of what is going to happen to my body over the next nine weeks.
-Overwhelmed by all the drugs, shots, appointments, my schedule, ect.
-Sad that it has come to this point. EVERY month I thought I would be pregnant...I am not. "This time" treatments would work...they didn't. I am supposed to have a one month old right now...I don't. It IS going to work this time...it better!