The big day!! Embryo transfer time...

I said in yesterdays blog post (T'was the night before transfer...) that I was calm and not very nervous….well apparently I was wrong because I slept terrible last night and had all sorts of crazy dreams about a disastrous embryo transfer. But I couldn’t be more wrong….

Our embryo transfer was surprisingly perfect!

My day began at 8:30 with taking 5 pills and one vaginal suppository (sorry….graphic I know!). I was feeling pretty anxious and even thought about cancelling our morning golf outing, but luckily I decided to tough through it! Andrew and I went to Jester and played 9 holes and I actually played okay for the first time out this season. It was relaxing and really did take my mind off things…not to mention it took up a few hours of our day. Afterwards we ate at McDonalds (the only restaurant choice in Grimes) and then we had two hours to kill before the transfer. That was a LONG wait!

An hour before the transfer I had to take a Valium pill to reduce anxiety…although I don’t think it really helped…it just made me a little shaky. Two-thirty arrived and it was finally embryo transfer time! I arrived at the office with a full bladder (doctors orders) and really nervous to hear how many embryos survived the thaw. We both changed into our scrubs, gown, hats, and booties and continued on to the “transfer room”. Dr. Young came in and gave me some crap about wearing Iowa State socks, but I told him he still had to do a good job doing our transfer since Andrew is an Iowa fan. Luckily, he gave us great news and told us that two embryos thawed PERFECTLY!!! I was soooo relieved!

Then Dr. Young went on to tell us that our embryos are trend-setters. We are the first couple to have our embryos thawed using a “new technique”. When they froze our embryos they used a new process in which they flash freeze the embryos instead of using a slower freezing process. They just started this freezing process so we are the first couple to have ours thawed out. I am sooooo glad they didn’t tell me about this before today because I would’ve been FREAKING OUT!! Holly (the embryologist) poked her head in and said she didn’t tell me that on purpose when I talked to her the other day. Thank goodness! I guess this new technique worked because we got TWO (out of two) perfect embryos!

We are so excited, but I am trying not to get my hopes up too much since anything can happen over the next two weeks. Just pray that both of these little babies stick and grow grow grow!!!

Now….on to two days of bedrest!

T'was the night before embryo transfer.....

T’was the night before embryo transfer…and all through the house….not a creature was sleeping…not even my spouse…

The big day is finally here! It seems surreal and odd that TOMORROW IS THE DAY! I haven’t been very excited, or nervous, or anything really. I am pretty nonchalant about it all…maybe because I am trying to protect myself emotionally, who knows? I am “okay” with the situation no matter what the outcome is. Obviously I REALLY want the result to be WONDERFUL, but I am also “okay” if it turns out otherwise (HA…ask me that in two weeks though!!) I guess I don’t want to get my hopes up because I know an FET (frozen embryo transfer) has lower odds of success and I have learned that in-vitro doesn’t always go as planned (hence, the last six months of my life)….but I am confident that something will work eventually. We WILL have kids of our own someday…I just know it!

We have five frozen embryos in storage and plan on transferring two (Mid Iowa Fertility only lets you transfer two). I was really stressed about having to “throw away” any leftovers we couldn’t transfer. I thought they had to thaw all five embryos (and hope that at least half survive the thaw), transfer two embryos and then throw away the leftovers since you can’t refreeze them. I was having a difficult time accepting the fact that they were going to throw away “our babies”…I mean…they are already embryos! How do you decide which two to transfer and which ones to throw away?? Also, using all five embryos means not having any saved for the future….and we would have to do this whole process over again in a couple of years! AHH! BUT luckily I called the clinic and they told me how it is done…

They freeze our embryos in “straws”. Ours are frozen in groups…two in one straw, two in another straw and one embryo in the last straw. On Thursday morning (it only takes a couple hours to thaw the embryos….who knew?? I thought it took days!) they will thaw a straw with two embryos. They check the embryos halfway through the day to see how they are doing and if they are not doing well they can thaw another straw. The embryologist said that their thawing success rate has been really good lately so HOPEFULLY we will have two perfect embryos to transfer and then we will still have some leftover for the future. Pray pray pray that our little embies survive tomorrow!!!

I have been doing all I can to avoid thinking about the “big day” tomorrow. I have kept busy almost every night this week so I don’t have much time to sit and think. Last night we went out with Andrew’s softball team and I drank my last beer (for hopefully 9 months!) and tonight I went out with my softball team even though I couldn’t drink (wow this is going to be a LONG 9 months…hopefully!) Tomorrow morning Andrew and I are going golfing since our embryo transfer isn’t until 2:30 in the afternoon. Hoping this will be the first and last time golfing this summer!

After the transfer is over I will be on strict bedrest for at least 2 full days. As in “you go home…go to your bed and don’t get out of bed for ANYTHING” Although…I think I will still get up for the bathroom (I don’t want to make Andrew THAT miserable). I just started a new book, have recorded some TV shows and have plenty of movies! I am actually somewhat excited for bedrest (ask me at the end of day 2 though!) because I can’t feel guilty about doing nothing.

Anyways, I could write for days, but I don’t want to bore you so if you have any questions…feel free to ask…I don’t mind talking about it. I will update you tomorrow after the transfer and then the dreaded “two week wait” begins until we find out the results. I want to stay really busy during those two weeks so if you want to hang out…give us a call (no drinking of course…but I can always live vicariously through you!) Take care!

Happy "Man-in-my-life-Day"!!

Mother’s Day is a difficult holiday for infertile women, but many people overlook men on Father’s day who cannot conceive a child. Men show their emotions differently than women, and although I cannot speak for my husband…I know he probably feels a twinge of pain on Father’s Day. So instead of celebrating Father’s Day, I am going to celebrate “Man-in-my-life Day!” because I appreciate all that Andrew does for me, and although he is not a father yet, he is one of the greatest men I know!

Andrew, thank you for….
-Being my rock when I need you the most
-Listening to me cry over and over again and holding me in your arms when you don’t have the “right” words to say
-Giving me daily shots even though it hurts you to see me in pain (I think it hurts you more than it hurts me)
-Being financially willing to attempt to have children
-Telling me over and over that “it will be okay”
-Being the “funniest guy I know”—really! And always making me laugh and smile!
-Being a wonderful uncle to two awesome nephews and two adorable nieces!

-Coming home everyday to the daycare kids who LOVE you and think that “Andu” is the best! This picture was taken a while ago, but the kids get SOOO excited when Andrew pulls into the driveway! This is the scenario everyday at 4:30!

-Going on this wild journey with me!

And although infertility is only a bump in the road on our life journey…I know our infertility scars will make me a better mother and you a better father. We will be able to conquer anything that comes our way with patience, perseverance, and love! You are going to be the best father EVER and I cannot wait until that day. I love you!



And for all of you dads out there…be the BEST dad you can be! Spend time with your child, read to them, go swimming, play soccer, play catch, go on a walk, go to the park, HAVE FUN, give your kid a kiss and say “I love you”……because really…Andrew and I WISH and DREAM that we could be doing that today and every day with our child. Bite your tongue when you complain about how naughty your child is being, how you wish you could sleep in on the weekends, or watch more television…because we would give up ALL of that (and more!) to hold a child in our arms. And I encourage you to talk to those people in your life who have lost their father, lost a child, or cannot conceive a child….because today is a day that they need to be remembered too! Happy “Man-in-my-life-Day” to all you men out there!