You can't have a testimony without a test

So, I am new to this whole blog thing and didn’t fully understand what I was doing when I posted my first post on facebook. I didn’t realize when I hit that little facebook button on my blog that it would post to my facebook newsfeed (or whatever that is called!). I thought it would just put it in the “website” section on my facebook page. Silly me!

Immediately the response was overwhelming! I began to panic! Freak out! What did I just do??? Are people going to be mad at me? Did I step over the line? Do people think I am bitter and unapproachable? Are people going to act weird around me now? Do people think that I am an angry person who just cries all the time? What is Andrew going to say? I never thought about all the people who would read it!!!

What are they going to think...
-Andrew: Is he going to be mad at me??
-My parents: What are they going to say??
-My siblings: Did I hurt their feelings?
-Parents of my daycare kids: Uh oh…didn’t think about that! Yes…I still want to watch your children! I LOVE them!
-All of our friends: How are they going to act when I see them next time?
-All of Andrew’s guy friends: Are they going to treat him differently?
-Andrew’s coworkers: oops…didn’t think about that! Hopefully he doesn’t care that they know!

Then, I finally had to face most of these people or I received messages from them and their reactions were surprising! People seemed to really enjoy my blog! In fact…most of them said that they loved it and that they were proud of me! Really?? I thought everyone would think I am crazy!

The more I talked about it with my friends and family I realized that most people didn’t really know what we were going through or else they did and didn’t know what to say. Here are a few things that I heard from people that really meant a lot to me (hope you don’t mind I am quoting you…I won’t mention your name)!

“As a mom who is struggling being a mom to 4 kids, I needed to see that just to be humbled. To appreciate what I have.”

“I can only tell you I am proud of you for sharing and trying to heal. In the process, I hope you realize you are helping others feel more comfortable and less alone.”

“Some people may have to go through this someday and they just don’t know it yet.”

“I love this - congrats on the new outlet! I couldn't agree more - I think blogging is the "new" scrapbooking. ; ) Hope it brings you good luck and some creative/frustration relief!”

“Thank you for taking the time and feeling comfortable enough to share all of this.”

“I really love how honest it is!”

“I have read your blog posts - you are amazing - so strong to be able to write about all you are going through. I am sure you are going to touch and help many people with what you write (while helping yourself remember the experience too)!”

“I know EXACTLY HOW YOU FEEL.”

“I know that no one has the right words to comfort you guys, but just know that there are so many people out there that love you and are praying for you.

“I commend you for writing your blog. I bet it will be therapeutic for you and for others who are experiencing trouble conceiving! It will also be helpful for people like me who want to ask every day how you are doing but don't know if you would prefer to talk or not talk about it.”



This is just a handful of things that people wrote to me! Thank you so much for all of your comments! I wish I had time to write back to all of you, but right now I can barely keep up with writing about what I am thinking. For me, the most painful part of infertility is thinking I am all alone and cannot share my feelings. I know I am not alone…I have a wonderful family, great friends and a handful of people who have “come out of the closet” about their fertility problems. Thank you so much for your support!

I WANT YOU TO KNOW: I am infertile, I don’t like it, but I am not afraid to talk about it! For me…talking about infertility is much better than not talking about infertility. I want you to read this blog! I want you to be educated! I want you to ask me questions! I want you to understand! Infertility is something that will be with me forever. It is a PART of me, but I am not going to let it control me.

Quote of the day: “You can’t have a testimony without a test”