January 22nd was my half birthday (and my parent’s anniversary and a day before Andrew’s 30th birthday!!!) I know what you are thinking…you celebrate your half birthday?? Well, I don’t anymore (although I still announce it to Andrew) but I used to always celebrate my half birthday because I had a summer birthday and didn’t get to celebrate it in school. So anyways, I saw this idea on someone else’s blog so I thought I would do it too.
To celebrate my 27 ½ birthday….here are 27 ½ things that infertility is teaching me...........
1. The emotional pain of infertility is so much worse than the physical pain—I can handle the shots, pokes, and exams….it is more difficult to handle a continued broken heart.
2. Lots of new lingo and acronyms. Do you know what this says? I am TTC with my DH. We are struggling with IF. Every month I keep track of my CD and DPO and finally I get to POAS for a HPT only to see a BFN!! Stupid AF!
3. The human body is soooo complicated! It is amazing that any of us are here…really. Every baby is a miracle!
4. Never compare yourself to others. What works for one person, doesn’t always work for others. You can’t compare your TTC (trying to conceive) journey to someone else’s.
5. I have learned to be more sensitive—you never know what another person is dealing with.
6. Everything will not always go as planned. I have learned to let go of my “five year plan”.
7. Try to enjoy the time alone with your husband, but it's okay to be annoyed when people tell you to do that. I will admit…I do love sleeping in on the weekends!
8. If at first you don’t succeed, try try again! And again! And again! One of these times we will succeed!
9. I have learned that you can never truly understand what people are going through until you are in their shoes. I know several people who had miscarriages and suffered with infertility before me, but now I understand because I have been there.
10. Therapy is a good thing—it does not make you less of a person. It takes a strong person to accept help.
11. Good people say stupid things. Stupid people say stupid things. Forgive the good ones, and dismiss the stupid ones.
12. People really DO want to know what you are going through, BUT they may not know how to ask or know if you want to talk about it.
13. God never abandons you…you abandon Him (I know this is true, but so difficult to grasp sometimes)
14. Music can put into words what I can’t—I love listening to lyrics and applying them to my life.
15. It is okay to grieve infertility—it is a loss…a loss of hopes and dreams.
16. Pain doesn’t last forever. Sometimes life just sucks…but it will get better!
17. It’s okay to be angry and mad about the place you are in your life….but just don’t dwell on it too long or you will miss out on life! “Enjoy this moment for this moment is your life.”
18. It is okay to scream it from a mountain top that I had a miscarriage. The only thing worse than losing something that meant the world to me is pretending that I lost nothing.
19. It is okay to miss someone you’ve never met.
20. There is not always an answer for everything. (Why did this happen? Why us?)
21. Be careful with jealousy. It may seem another person has it all, but they may soon experience (or may be experiencing) something you wouldn't wish on anyone. You don't want to think (or say) something you'll regret.
22. Google can be your worst enemy. How can I stop asking Google all my infertility questions? I think I talk to Google more than my doctor and husband!
23. Sometimes, I just don't want to be around kids, simply because it's too hard. But that doesn't make me a bad person.
24. No matter how bad things get….I am still lucky! There are people out there that have it worse.
25. Everything about infertility is awkward (exams, stirrups, plastic cups, conversations, etc.)
26. Infertility has made me feel misunderstood, angry, jealous and so empty. I will never be the same person I was before—but that is okay. Infertility has shaped who I am…and I am learning to live with my new self.
27. We will survive infertility. We will be stronger because of it. Believe it or not, this will all be worth it in the end!
½. I am still learning…
It was really difficult to come up with 27 1/2 things! I guess I still have a lot to learn. Hopefully on my 28th birthday (in July) I can write “28 reasons to smile”.
2 comments:
You are an amazing person! Just don't lose sight of that! I will continue to keep the both of you in my prayers.
#2 - I felt like I was watching a Jersey Shore episode ;-)
#12 - Amen to that. I DO want to know how you're doing!
#24 - It takes a lot to stay positive, keep it up.
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