Your wedding day is supposed to be one of the greatest moments of your life. Special. Magical. A once-in-a-lifetime event! A time for you to commit to each other….for better or for worse, for richer, for poorer, in good times and in bad, in sickness and in health. But who knew our sickness would happen so quickly??
Andrew and I got engaged in April of 2006 and quickly started planning for a November 18th wedding. If you know me…I love warm weather so it may seem strange that we chose November for a wedding date, but Andrew’s mom was battling breast cancer at the time so we knew we couldn’t wait too long to get married. I wanted her to be at our wedding more than anything in the world so I really didn’t care when our wedding had to be! I wanted to see her dance with her son and to enjoy our special day.
Fast-forward to November 17th (the night before our wedding): Andrew and I welcomed our family and friends into town on Friday for our ceremony rehearsal at the church and then Cynthia and Lyle (Andrew’s parents) had planned a lovely rehearsal dinner at an upscale restaurant in town. The evening was perfect…the company was wonderful…and the food was great (or so we thought).
November 18th (our wedding day!): On Saturday we finished last minute wedding details and spent the rest of the day getting ready for the evening activities. Since we were having a late wedding (6:30pm), Andrew and I decided to take our wedding pictures before the ceremony so people wouldn’t have to wait for us at the reception. Around 5:00 we finished taking pictures and had time to relax before the ceremony began. Right around 5:00 Andrew started feeling sick to his stomach (unbeknownst to me) and had to take several trips to the restroom.
I was with my bridesmaids (Angie and Molly) in another room waiting for the ceremony to begin. I remember them saying that their stomachs hurt and I remember telling them “come on guys….you aren’t the ones who should be nervous and sick to your stomach….it should be me!” I just chalked this all up to nerves.
Somehow, everyone (including Andrew) made it through the wonderful wedding ceremony and we dismissed everyone from the church one-by-one to go to the wedding reception. Little did we know….this would be the last time that Andrew would talk to most of his wedding guests. The night just went downhill from there!
Almost immediately after dismissing everyone from the church Andrew runs to the bathroom and gets sick. Then, the new “Mr. and Mrs. Slagle” get into our getaway car and head to the reception….or so I thought. Nope…we need to swing by Andrew’s parent’s house because Andrew needs to get sick….again! I remember sitting on his parents couch in my beautiful wedding dress thinking to myself “this is not happening….we should’ve been cutting the cake 10 minutes ago!” as my NEW husband continues to get sick.
We FINALLY arrive at the reception hall and Andrew immediately runs to the bathroom to get sick again, along with my bridesmaid, Molly and one of our ushers, Rick. The bridal party hasn’t even been introduced yet and 3 out of 12 of them are getting sick! Our poor DJ did a great job stalling time until I could pull the group together. (Note: we still thought it was “nerves” at this point.) We finally get introduced to our guests as husband and wife and we immediately cut the cake and then everyone is dismissed for dinner. Andrew heads to the bathroom one more time….and that was about the last time anyone saw Andrew for the rest of the evening.
I remember sitting at the head table…alone….without my new husband. I remember thinking “what is happening”?!? I remember everyone clanging their glasses for the newlyweds to kiss…but Andrew wasn’t there. I remember people beginning to stare at me because they haven’t seen Andrew for a while. I remember people clanging their glasses again….and again….and again for us to kiss….but every time….he wasn’t there. I remember looking out at all of our guests and thinking “I can’t do this alone! I NEED you Andrew!” I remember feeling helpless…scared…mad…angry…hurt. Alone.
At this point my brother-in-law, Jason, tells me that I should go into the men’s restroom to talk to Andrew. Jason clears everyone out of the restroom so I can go in there to chat with him. Then Andrew proceeds to tell me he thinks he needs to go home. I started crying and told him that he is not going home and that he needs to “suck it up” (OOPS…my bad. Sorry hun! I just didn’t want to be left there alone. This is OUR wedding day!!). I don’t think my pep talk helped because he still didn’t come out of the bathroom.
By this time our wedding guests were beginning to wonder what was going on. People from the event center were coming to me to ask when we wanted our champagne (well…it’s a little difficult to do speeches without the groom), when we wanted to start the music, when we wanted to do our first dance. My head was spinning…I planned EVERY detail of our wedding….but I didn’t plan for a disaster!
Then, it got worse.
People started dropping like flies. My father soon joined Andrew in the restroom (WOW talk about father/son-in-law bonding). And then I knew it was really bad when my 80 year old grandfather with Parkinson’s disease couldn’t make it to the restroom in time and threw up all over the table at the reception. (Note: we still had NO IDEA what was going on or what was causing so many people to get sick).
Now everyone knew something was wrong. I tried going around to every table at the reception to inform people of the circumstances. I honestly don’t even know what I told people. I was in shock. Heartbroken. Scared. I tried to be strong. I tried not to cry. I tried to make the party go on. The DJ started the music and people tried to make the reception as “normal” as possible. When the music first started, little Eric (age 4) ran up to me and grabbed my hand and said “Come on Sara. Dance with me!” Who knew my first dance on my wedding day would be with a 4 year old? He was a great little dance partner though and even suggested “let’s get down on the floor and spin” Hmm..no thanks…not in this dress J
Around 11:00 (maybe?) I got news that we were going to have to take my father and Andrew to the emergency room and that an ambulance was on the way. At this point I was crying and hyperventilating and needed to get out of my dress. Luckily my sister-in-law was able to run out to our car and grab some extra clothes for me so I didn’t have to go to the hospital in my dress. Then, my sister, my dad, Andrew and I piled into the ambulance (classy limo service, eh?) and headed to
I remember walking into the room that Andrew was in and he just looked terrible. He could barely talk so the nurses were asking me questions about him. His address….his weight….his height…his SS#....I don’t know….we have been married for less than 4 hours!! I remember having to sign some form and I just stared at it thinking to myself “Really? This is the FIRST time I get to sign my married name and it is so I can admit my new husband to the hospital?!?”
Then I went to check on my father. I literally walked in his room and thought he was dead. He was laying on an exam table with a bright white light shining on him and a white blanket covering his body. Scared the hell out of me! Luckily he opened his eyes a little and was able to talk to me.
I remember being torn in so many directions…..do I stay with my new husband?…do I stay with my sick father?...where is my grandfather?...who is taking care of the reception and getting things cleaned up and gifts taken somewhere?...what about our wedding night hotel reservations at the Embassy Suites (luckily my sister called and explained our situation and they didn’t charge us anything!)…who else is getting sick?...WHAT IS GOING ON????
We still had no idea what was going on or what was causing everyone to get sick. We had figured out though that it was everyone from our wedding party that was getting sick. I was extremely nervous for Andrew’s mom, who was undergoing chemotherapy treatment for her cancer at the time. What would happen to her if she got sick too? She is frail and weak…her body can’t handle the violent sickness that everyone else is getting! Luckily, Lyle (Andrew’s dad) decided to take her home so she wouldn’t be exposed to everyone else.
Soon….more people were getting sick. By 11:30 my pregnant sister-in-law started throwing up in the waiting room bathroom and around midnight my sister joined her. At this point we had 5 people admitted into the hospital and 5 more throwing up in the waiting room. We were quite the sight!! All of us were dressed up in tuxedos and dresses…the hospital staff wondered what was going on!! I thought I could fight off the sickness…but soon I joined in with the others, but I refused to get admitted to the hospital (bad decision!).
Eventually everyone else was discharged from the hospital….except for Andrew. Obviously I wasn’t going to leave my husband on our wedding night so we spent our first night together as husband and wife in our lovely “not-so-spacious…not-so-romantic” hospital room. I remember telling my mom good-bye as the nurses wheeled us through the double doors to our “honeymoon suite”—Andrew on a gurney bed and me next to him in a wheelchair. Once we arrived at our “suite” the nurses gave us matching scrubs to change into for the evening (cute huh?)
I remember lying on the pull-out couch staring across the room at Andrew while he slept on his hospital bed. This is not how I planned things. This is not how our marriage is supposed to start. This is not fair. I just sat there and cried as I pulled 100 bobby-pins out of my wedding-day hair-do. I just cried because I planned every detail of my wedding…but I didn’t plan for this. I was alone…again.
The next day we were kept at the hospital until Andrew could keep food down and then we were finally released around 1:30 in the afternoon. I can’t even tell you how we got home because we didn’t have a car or even a cell phone with us at the hospital. Someone picked us up and took us to my sister’s house where we met up with others from our wedding party. Over the next 24 hours we learned that 24 out of the 34 people who attended our rehearsal dinner got sick with the norovirus.
Andrew and I rested on Sunday, packed that night and then headed off to Mexico at 5:00AM on Monday morning The plane trip to Mexico was rough for me (oops…I should’ve been admitted to the hospital to get fluids because I was extremely dehydrated and held a barf bag the entire flight). But once we arrived at our resort in
We didn’t have any communication with people back home for the whole week so once we arrived home the following Sunday we found out the source of all the sickness. Apparently the person who fixed all the salads at the restaurant we ate at for our rehearsal dinner had the norovirus and failed to properly wash his hands after going to the restroom (yes…norovirus is transmitted through fecal matter and it was in our salads) and therefore gave 71 patrons at the restaurant norovirus…including our wedding party.
Tomorrow will be five years since our disastrous wedding. For several years I had a lot of anger about our wedding nightmare. I would cry and dread going to other people’s weddings and ask “Why us God? Why did OUR wedding have to be ruined?” Andrew and I wouldn’t talk about our wedding day. We still haven’t watched our wedding video (but we plan to this year!) or filled out our wedding book (maybe I will start that now). People wouldn’t bring up wedding topics around us because we were “those people”. I also felt guilty....a lot of guilt! It was my fault that so many people got sick (I picked that day for our wedding). It was my fault that my 80 year old grandfather got so sick and hasn't been the same since. It was my fault that Andrew never got to dance with his mother. It was my fault that our wedding day wasn't perfect.
I hope you don’t think I am selfish. Don’t get me wrong…yes…marrying Andrew and saying our vows was the most important part of that day and we are sooooo lucky that we got through that without sickness BUT a wedding is more than the vows. It was supposed to be a chance for us to celebrate with our friends and family, but instead we were left with empty memories that can never be re-done or replaced, no matter how hard we try. There was no first dance, there were no speeches, there was no father/daughter dance or mother/son dance, no garter toss or bouquet toss.
After five years I have finally realized that everything happens for a reason. I have let go of my anger and have come to terms with our “story”. That is exactly what it is…an infamous story that we will tell our kids and grandkids someday. Other events in the past five years (Andrew’s mom passing away, our infertility struggle, etc.) have put our wedding disaster into perspective for us. Life may not always be easy, but we will get through it together….. for better or for worse, for richer, for poorer, in good times and in bad, in sickness and in health.
Stay tuned for PART 2 of our wedding story.....
Note: If you attended our wedding and want to submit your side of the story...we would LOVE to hear from you. We may even add it to our wedding book :)
2 comments:
Oh Sara---We remember your beautiful wedding!!! Thanks for sharing your story. I remember your beautiful fall colors and loved your Love is Sweet table with all of your generations of "love" pictures. Happy Anniversary to a very deserving couple!!!!
My story of your wedding:
After arriving at the reception I was seated with the other 20 somethings and we were excited for a night of celebrating. And so we waited. And waited. And waited for the wedding party to make their entrance. We eventually learned that something was amiss but didn't have any details so we just kept waiting.
When we learned that it was some sort of sickness it was such a strange mood at our table. Do we try to still have some fun so the money spent on the beautiful reception doesn't go to waste or do we sit somberly and "grieve" as it were.
At one point I went to the men's room and Andrew was vomiting in the stall next to me. We had a brief conversation in which he still managed to keep that "Slagle" sense of humor about it all. It was surreal talking to my friend on what is supposed to be the happiest day of his life, in the saddest of conditions.
Back at the table when we knew the reception was going to end, there was a brief discussion about whether we should continue at a bar but in the end we decided to all go home.
I didn't hear that people went to the hospital until sometime later.
Such a strange evening. Obviously traumatizing for you guys, but I will say it makes for a story whenever someone a conversation about wedding disasters comes up. I can say, "I was there."
Alex Kimble
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